The 100th Crumby Article

Who knew that I’d still be bugging you guys about veganism? I didn’t.

So I was going to write this article about 100 people that were important to me in my vegan life, but then I counted how many there were and realised that there were more than 100. I didn’t want to leave someone out and offend, so I had to think of a new list.

This list is going to be the mother of all lists

100 Things I’ve Learnt Since Going Vegan

Be prepared to get bored by point 14. In no particular order, here we go!

  1. Soy milk tastes better than cow’s milk.
  2. I’m really good at scanning a list of ingredients to work out whether it’s vegan or not.
  3. I now humanize all animals.
  4. I get into too many debates about whether stuff is or isn’t vegan.
    I’m currently looking into palm oil with help from A Palm Oil Free Vegan – she has been super helpful!
  5. I influence those around me that have an open-mind.
  6. I annoy those around me that have a closed-mind. 
  7. I’ve developed quite a substantial collection of books about veganism. 
    I won’t comment on whether I’ve read them or not. 
  8. It’s easy to figure out a vegan option at a non-vegan restaurant (with no vegan options).
    I normally opt for a chip sandwich. Healthier vegans would eat a salad. 
  9. I’ve realised I’m not a lion.
    *pointing to my blunt canines*
  10. I have no loyalty to sports teams anymore. I only support vegan players.
    If they move team, I move team. 
  11. I’m getting really good at standing in front of people (and being alive) when they claim that “you can’t live without meat in your diet”.
    It took a while to perfect this skill.
  12. Over the last year I’ve developed compassion for humans. This has been an extension of my compassion for animals. 
  13. Plants still don’t have feelings.
    For more info, click here. 
  14. I’m super skeptical when items are labelled “dairy-free”.
    They will contain egg!
  15. I now have to stop myself from saying “dead animals” instead of “meat”.
  16. I am now kinder to all animals, big or small. 
    This means that I now beg spiders to leave of their own accord instead of threatening them with a glass and paper. 
  17. I can veganise any non-vegan food.
    Crab cakes from jackfruit, ice cream from bananas and cheesecake from tofu! 
  18. Most of my vegan friends are people I’ve only ever spoken to online. 
  19. I laugh when people refer to cow’s milk as “normal milk”.
    Bud, cow’s milk is as normal as giraffe’s milk. 
  20. I still crave non-vegan food but my feelings for animals far outweigh my cravings.
  21. Home-made hummus became a thing.
  22. I’ve won three bets which meant three people had to go vegan for a period of time.
    Wonderful Husband, Mega Friend Mark and Super SIL. Losers. 
  23. I’ve learnt that veganism ≠ health.
    There is a lot of unhealthy vegan junk food out there!
  24. It feels amazing when you hear that one of your friends or family is trying to cut down on non-vegan food.
  25. It feels even more amazing when someone reaches out to you for help to go vegan. 
  26. Even when I try to not talk about veganism, I end up talking about it anyway.
    This also happens with poop. I talk about poop a lot. 
  27. Cheese is not God.
    Vegan cheese is 😉 
  28. Since going vegan I have an urge to bake.
    I went vegan straight after I got married so I don’t know if this is a vegan thing or a married thing. 
  29. I have made a life-long commitment against animal abuse. 
  30. I found out about Effective Altruism
  31. I love rescuing dogs. 
    Check out my petition for a second dog.  
  32. I feel very fortunate to live at a time when there are so many vegan options available. 
  33. All farm animals are really cute. 
  34. I spend way too much on bathroom products. 
    Wonderful Husband actually reminded me of this point. Do you sense some tension? I can’t help it if cruelty-free and vegan products are expensive!
  35. I don’t like all vegans. 
  36. I’ve learnt how to extreme-roll-my-eyes when people use the “but cows would go extinct if we didn’t eat them” excuse. 
  37. VEGAN stands for Vegans Emit Gas And Noise.
    It doesn’t, but Mega Friend Zoë made it up and it’s pretty accurate.  
  38. When I go to events protesting animals used in entertainment, I always get a grumpy old lady telling me that I’m a hypocrite because I eat meat, so I (with a big smile) point to my vegan t-shirt.
  39. I have a lot of vegan t-shirts. 
  40. I am constantly getting stranded on desert islands with only a pig for company. 
    To be fair, pigs are good company.
  41. I died of protein deficiency. 
    Everyday I’m here dying of protein deficiency. 
  42. Meat, dairy and eggs are not healthy.
  43. Turns out that since going vegan I’m amazing in bed. 
    You’re welcome, Wonderful Husband. 
  44. World Vegan Day, 1st of November, is an important date in my calendar.
    Also my vegan anniversary, 1st of July. 
  45. Once I find a vegan restaurant I like, I go there a lot!
  46. If I get a cold, it’s because I’m vegan. 
    Like non-vegans don’t get colds!
  47. Oat milk is the best milk for the environment.
  48. If someone gives me crap on a Facebook post, like “bacon though“, then I know a member of the vegan crew will step in 🙂 
    We’re practically the mafia. 
  49. When vegan items are sold out, I get a feeling that I have never experienced before going vegan.
    On one hand I was really craving that vegan ice cream, but on the other hand the demand for vegan ice cream is going up. Should I be happy or sad?
  50. People tend to introduce me as their “vegan friend”.
  51. For the majority of presents, my family and I donate to charities instead. 
    Vegan charities for me, obvs. 
  52. I keep claiming to be “one with nature” even though I’m from a city and I recently almost died on a mountain. 
    Slight exaggeration, but Mega Friend Victor did have to hold my hand the whole way because I was too scared to climb down. 
  53. Veganism extends to almost every aspect of my life now. 
  54. Wonderful Husband is willing to go 99% plant-based. 
    Don’t worry other vegans, I’m still working on that 1%. 
  55. I am willing to travel far and wide for a new vegan restaurant.
  56. Vegans are considered nutrient-deficient and healthy at the same time.
    This still perplexes me. 
  57. There is pure satisfaction in finding new accidentally-vegan food.
    Oreos, Starburst, Speculoos and paprika flavoured Pringles!
  58. I now see animal suffering in everyday life, in places I couldn’t see it before. 
  59. I’ve developed a talent for making amazing salads.
    My favourite at the moment is Roasted Squash, Olive, Avocado and Rocket Salad. 
  60. B12 becomes life!
  61. Veganism has led me to caring more about the planet and sustainability.
    So now I do stuff like grow vegetables. I’m pretty rubbish at it though. 
  62. Veganism cures fears.
    It doesn’t, but I do tackle my fear of needles every year to take a blood test, just so I can prove to everyone how healthy veganism is. 
  63. Some people don’t want their children around me incase veganism is catching. 
    At least I imagine this is the reason.
  64. Farm sanctuaries are amazing.
  65. Strangers (the not very nice ones), once finding out I’m vegan, will become instantaneous experts in nutrition. 
    I do love hearing the good ol’ speech on why vegans are deficient in vitamins and minerals from the person eating McDonalds. 
  66. The rumours about soy aren’t true.
    I still have tiny breasts.
  67. I loved trees before, but now I REALLY LOVE trees. 
  68. The main ingredient in my diet is grass.
    It’s not, but this is a joke I’ve got used to hearing. 
  69. When you’re vegan you get to intern for cool organisations like Animal Ethics
  70. I grew up being a fussy eater but now I’ll eat anything (vegan) that isn’t tomato ketchup, celery and coriander. 
    Veganism has broadened my horizons. 
  71. Every now and then I’ll convince myself that eating junk food is ok no matter how bad it is for me because I’m not hurting any animals. 
  72. I now know how to replace eggs with bananas.
    Egg *Abracadabra* Banana! 
  73. Despite the idea that being vegan is inconvenient for people hosting, I’ve only had amazing experiences with hosts accommodating me and preparing the most amazing food.
    Shout out to Mega MIL who cooks me mega vegan food when we’re visiting!
  74. Every day I get down on my knees and thank the world for pasta. 
  75. Chickpeas are the boss of vegan food. 
    Chickpea flour: omelette, liquid from chickpea can: meringue, mashed up chickpeas: tuna!
  76. In Spain, expect your vegan salad to come with tuna.
    Even when you say no tuna. 
  77. I have a silent expectation that animals should know I’m vegan and love me for it. 
    But they don’t. Stupid animals.
  78. I am now an expert tofu-maker.
    Crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. 
  79. I’ve learnt the word milk in a number of languages so I don’t get caught out when travelling. 
    In Lithuanian the word for milk is “pienas” and I remember it because it sounds like penis. 
  80. There is milk powder in almost everything!
  81. I get a lot more fibre on a vegan diet. 
    This took some adjusting for the first few weeks. 
  82. I still don’t get yoga. 
    I thought all vegans were supposed to be amazing at yoga. I was wrong. 
  83. I stay Facebook friends with people I don’t like just incase they see one of my future posts and decide to go vegan. 
  84. Sweetcorn still comes out whole in my poop.
  85. I will argue that plant-based milk can be called “milk”.
    My arson: peanut butter, hot dogs and spotted dick. 
  86. I can’t help but watch other people load up their groceries on to the supermarket conveyer belt and try to work out if they’re vegan.
    “Salad, that’s vegan, carrots, they’re vegan, Oreos, very vegan, dried pasta, totally vegan, oh no butter!… But wait, that’s margarine! She’s vegan!”
  87. I make friends in supermarkets.
  88. Vegan celebrities are now my favourite celebrities. 
    Mayim Bialik, Miley Cyrus and Will.I.Am to name a few. 
  89. Turns out my mum isn’t a cow and I don’t need cow’s milk after all. 
  90. I’ve learnt that broccoli, white beans, chickpeas, edamame, oranges and tomatoes all contain calcium. 
  91. I’ve got used to being called “extreme” for eating vegetables.
    Yet you’d think that the ones eating dead animals were extreme. 
  92. Many big mammals are herbivores.
    For example, camels, donkeys, zebras and rhinos.
  93. I learnt how to cook!
    Check out my Instagram for proof. 
  94. I don’t suffer from lactose intolerance anymore.
    This actually depends on whether the restaurant spikes my food – it’s been known to happen. 
  95. There are some mega vegan comedians. 
    Romesh Ranganathan, Sara Pascoe, Russell Brand and Vegan Smythe
  96. One of my favourite foods is tempeh. 
    I’ve been known to eat it raw. I have issues. 
  97. Since going vegan people will constantly comment that veganism made me skinny and pale. 
    I was born skinny and pale if you must know 😉 
  98. I’ve met a lot of compassionate people.
  99. Nutty Dog is obsessed with fruit and veg.
    Except blueberries. He doesn’t like blueberries. He takes them but then spits them out. Then offers them to me. I accept.  
  100. I love being vegan. 

If you’ve dragged yourself through all 100 points then you’re totally deserving of a free coffee. If you live local then I’m taking you out!

Go vegan, otherwise I’ll keep writing more articles 💚

3 thoughts on “The 100th Crumby Article

  1. Adam de-Ste-Croix says:

    21 Hummus, and me! Whats your secret? Mine is paprika and, weirdly, water!
    85 Chocolate fingers
    88, Joaquin Phoenix! (and also all the amazing sports pros from Game Changers)
    101, When people become vegan they also become more aware of the life around them and so are more compassionate (added my own big one)

    Really great list, funny too!

    Liked by 1 person

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