To begin, a big thanks to a friend for giving me the idea for this article 🙂
Let’s start off the new year with a bang! With a bang of honesty…
To celebrate the new year, we’ll go to The Honest Restaurant where they serve the most delicious food with a side of honesty. I’ll give you an example of something on their menu:
Linguine with avocado, tomato & lime (vegan)
The finest linguine from Italy, accompanied by the very best avocados from Mexico, the most delicious tomatoes from China and wonderful limes from India. Despite the imminent threat posed by climate change, we believe the miles travelled to source these ingredients is totally worth it.
Now, this is my kind of food but not my kind of carbon footprint. I hope I wouldn’t order this dish at the honest restaurant no matter my love for pasta.
Let’s try out a few non-vegan dishes…
Turkey bacon sandwich
A sandwich made from the flesh from a turkey that had been kept her whole life in a factory until being slaughtered at only 26 weeks old and bacon made from the flesh of a pig after he had been mutilated and then shot in the head at six months old. Make their suffering worthwhile by choosing this sandwich for your ten minute eating experience today!
Or let’s try another…
Garlic prawns with dried tomato and rosemary
Also referred to as the cockroaches of the sea, our prawns are seasoned with garlic, dried tomato and rosemary. Prawn trawling (how prawns are caught in the wild) is one of the most destructive fishing methods used, so instead we source our prawns from farms where they live and die in a tub of water, cramped amongst one another and suffering from diseases. Fortunately for us, they are treated with a concoction of antibiotics. Yum!
I could do this all day.
What about dessert?
Cake and custard
Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of our offering, it is delicious but not guilt-free. Not only will it add that unwanted extra weight, but our eggs involve the mass slaughter of millions of day-old male chicks and the caging of millions of hens. The fresh milk for our creamy custard is made by forcibly impregnating cows and then slaughtering their baby boys. This dessert is worth every moment of their suffering.
When I go to a restaurant, I can’t be sure where the ingredients are sourced unless I ask, and that would be my responsibility. However, you can be damn sure that an animal has died as a consequence of your meal (and you’d look a bit silly if you asked). Just because menus aren’t clearly stating the suffering that has taken place, doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen and that it isn’t our responsibility to know the consequences of our decisions.
Next time you’re at a restaurant, make up your own story about the dish you’re eating, then see if it tastes as good. I hope it doesn’t.
Happy new year (and go vegan)! 💚